Back at Square One.

Depression steals away your confidence. I felt that after my A-level exams. I knew that none of my exams went particularly well but there is a certain air of confirmation when you hold the paper that determines your future in your hands and realise the depth of your failure. When I tell people my grades, they seem…

A Philosophy on Depression (II)

Ignorance is Bliss. Often times people ask me, “why are you depressed? You have never been through a tragedy in your life.” Most of the time, it is my family (funny enough). Is human existence itself not a tragedy? Fermi’s paradox states that if the universe is so vast and always expanding, then there must…

A Friendship with my Memories.

I remember everything, although I pretend not to. Sometimes it’s easier to believe that some things never happened and it was just a figment of my wild imagination. When people ask me what my story is, I never know where to start. It’s like the first 16 or so pages are missing. Maybe I have…

Dear Depression, (2014)

I like to paint smiles over my fears Like an artist punching paint on a blank canvas. I am in denial of all my tears Like a stone, distanced from emotions Like a stone, I feel alone. I have lost control of my situation.   And yet you have noticed all my scars Cut into…

Esther’s Fig Tree.

I don’t know what it is about lakes and rivers and the sea that makes me so fucking poetic. I guess the continuous flow of the water is a reminder that life goes on. It must go on. Ten years from now if I’m still stuck a million miles away from my ambitions, the only…

Why I write.

I believe that personal stories of how people struggled with mental illness and how they overcame it are more effective than therapy. If you haven’t been there, you just won’t know what it’s like to live with something like this. What can a Psychologist possibly say to me to purify my thoughts after just reading…

Freedom from Freedom.

Fifth month of uni and I’ve already given up. I used to dream about the day I’d actually leave my house and become independent. All I really wanted to do was cook my own meals, decorate my own room, study whenever I wanted to without my parents constantly nagging me- typical teenager shit. Most of…