Esther’s Telephone Poles.

“I saw the years of my life spaced along a road in the form of telephone poles, threaded together by wires. I counted one, two, three… nineteen telephone poles, and then the wires dangled into space, and try as I would, I couldn’t see a single pole beyond the nineteenth.”– The Bell Jar, Sylvia Plath….

Walls.

The feeling of settlement is what I fear the most. Perhaps it’s because I have spent my whole life moving around that the unfamiliarity of the feeling provokes my anxiety and depression. Settlement is not just waking up in the same room for more than year. A big part to it is contributed by the…

Wings.

I fell once and broke my mind, I fell twice and broke my dreams, I fell again and broke my heart, I fell for the last time And learned to fly.

Heavens.

When heavens cry the rain falls so ghastly on my shoulders it dissolves the burdens and asks me to dance with death in paradise when the tears fall in silence it hurts my head I want to join them, screaming in pain drain the poison out from the ink of my pen infinity is lost somewhere…

Back at Square One.

Depression steals away your confidence. I felt that after my A-level exams. I knew that none of my exams went particularly well but there is a certain air of confirmation when you hold the paper that determines your future in your hands and realise the depth of your failure. When I tell people my grades, they seem…

A Philosophy on Depression (II)

Ignorance is Bliss. Often times people ask me, “why are you depressed? You have never been through a tragedy in your life.” Most of the time, it is my family (funny enough). Is human existence itself not a tragedy? Fermi’s paradox states that if the universe is so vast and always expanding, then there must…

A Friendship with my Memories.

I remember everything, although I pretend not to. Sometimes it’s easier to believe that some things never happened and it was just a figment of my wild imagination. When people ask me what my story is, I never know where to start. It’s like the first 16 or so pages are missing. Maybe I have…

Dear Depression, (2014)

I like to paint smiles over my fears Like an artist punching paint on a blank canvas. I am in denial of all my tears Like a stone, distanced from emotions Like a stone, I feel alone. I have lost control of my situation.   And yet you have noticed all my scars Cut into…